We had not gotten far until I asked Janet to park. My mind was flooded with so much, all I could do was cry. I mean, after all, I could die in a couple of days! I kept thinking about Dr. Wernberg saying, "There is no guarantee, Cindy. This is a MAJOR surgery and there is a fear that you could bleed out during it." Not only that, I was scared to death if I did pull through the surgery, what kind of shape was I going to be in? They told me they would do all they could to reconstruct my rib area along with the diaphram and chest wall, but I may have permanent disfigurement and limitations.
Of course there were no answers or comments Janet could make to take all those fears away, but what she did do and say gave me the comfort I was looking for. She held me as I cried then said, "Cindy, I truly believe in my heart of hearts that you are not going to die in this surgery and no matter how you are after the operation, I will be there by your side, step by step, loving you as I always have. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!"
These moments and words allowed me to pull myself together and I felt so much better. Shortly thereafter, we left to go back to the room. Knowing the next day was going to be a long one, we said our goodnights to Debbie and headed to bed.
The next day was filled with pre-op test and appointments at the Marshfield Clinic and St. Joseph's Hospital. My first was scheduled for 7 am and they continued until 4 pm.
The most important appointment of the day was with my surgeon, Dr. Wernberg. Again, she was very caring, thorough, professional, and left me feeling like I was in very competent hands.
Debbie and Janet was such a big part in helping to keep my nerves under control that day. We had a lot of waiting time at each appointment and their natural sense of humor kept my mind occupied. I can't imagine the day without them!
We finally returned to the Hope Lodge and met up with my sister, Carla. I was so glad she came down the evening before my surgery. The four of us hung out, and shared supper together. It was a lot of fun and made the evening fly by. Before I knew it, it was time to go to bed. My surgery was scheduled for the following morning at 8:00 am and I had to check in by 5:30 am.
Saint Joseph's Hospital
Marshfield, WI
I was actually surprised that I slept as well as I did and happy for it. The morning was a blur. In some ways, having to check in so early was a good thing. I didn't have time for the nerves to get the best of me
Once at the hospital, I did not have a long wait before they called me to go into pre-surgery. They assured me as soon as they could, they would allow Janet to come back and spend time with me before surgery. (They said that would be in about an hour or so.)
While I was in pre surgery, the rest of my family and friends began arriving. From my understanding, they pretty much took up a large section of the waiting area. This consisted of my son and his girlfriend, my brother, 2 of my niece's, my great neice, 2 great friends, and a cousin. Adding Debbie, Carla and Janet meant there were 11 in total there for my benefit. It felt so good knowing they were all there.
Unfortunately, there were issues getting the epidoral in place for my surgery. Things took A LOT longer then they had anticpated. By the time they finished prepaing everything, there were only 10 minutes left before I was to go into surgery. I was getting a little worried about what Janet would do if she wasn't allowed to come in, so we could see each other.
Even though they had given me some wonderful drugs, I can still see and remember the angst I saw on Janet's face by the time they let her and my son in to see me. I knew there must have been a bare spot in the waiting room carpet from her pacing back and forth. Though it was short, I needed those moments with them. It meant everything to me!
The surgery was 6 hours long. I came out at 2 pm and I was in recovery another 2 1/2 hours. The first thing I remember, once in my room, is Janet calling my name and asking for a wink. Moments later I remember my room being filled with all those who had come that day. I really don't remember too much more until late that night.
Janet stayed on a cot in the room with me. I remember waking and feeling like someone had ran over me with a semi-truck. I knew I was on a self morphine pump, but I couldn't find the hand control to push the button for another dose. I called out to Janet, and she got up & found it hanging off the side of the bed. After giving me a dose, she tied the pump to the bed rail and put the control in my fist. I was out within minutes. Sweet relief!
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